Protocol Rules that go back Centuries
And then you come across things we still do and do not think about. Why, for example, do we cover our mouth when we yawn? Or answer the phone with a “hello”? Those rules still apply and they were invented or agreed upon at one point a long time ago.
Answering the phone with “Hello”
We are going back to when the phone was invented. Thomas Edison suggested to answer the phone with “hello”, a word that was not used a lot at that time. His rival, Alexander Bell favored “ahoy”- a nautical hailing call from ship to ship over a distance. Eventually “hello” became the most standard greeting. Imagine it would have been the other way around?
I think we kind of know that. It goes back to the medieval times, when men had their sword on the left side and could get to it with their right hand easily. (Handedness- the tendency of people to use one hand over the other consistently, effects everything from our interpersonal gestures and movements, to the designs of the tools we use and our social rituals. About 88% of people are right-handed! Just ask any left-handed person how frustrating it is to live in a world designed for right handed people. I’ve always suspected that this is why lefties tend to score higher on IQ tests. The daily challenges of having to manipulate their environment, designed to be used most conveniently by the right hand, makes them get more creative in their thinking.)
It is said that the centuries old custom of men walking on the outside (the lady between him and the building), while escorting ladies along the street, comes from the social grace of protecting women from the dangers of carriages, horses and thrown waste. In medieval times, the streets were open sewers and human and household waste was thrown from windows into the streets as there was no indoor plumbing or sewage lines. So every street had waste running down the middle.
We shake hands a lot when we greet people and we do not realize that we follow a tradition that goes back a really long time. Men had their swords on their left side and drew it with their right hand to use it. Shaking somebody’s hand with their right hand signaled that they would not use their sword and had come with good intentions. The extended open right hand showed that you concealed no weapon.
This again goes back to the times when men were often dressed for battle. Opening their visors exposed their faces and signaled friendliness. And touching your hat is the remnant of this gesture.
If you think that when covering your mouth while yawning, is because you want to avoid breathing in germs, you are wrong. It goes back to Roman times. They believed that leaving your mouth unprotected was asking for demon dogs to bring diseases upon you. I always thought it was meant to not reveal the poor state of dental health in olden times, but perhaps that was an unintended social benefit.
When somebody sneezes, we automatically say “Bless you”. This also goes back to ancient Roman times. Rome, like all of Europe, was faced with the “Black Death”, a plague that killed millions. The first sign of infection was sneezing. Pope Gregory I told everybody to say “God Bless you” as a remedy to avoid death.
Here we have to go back to Rome again. Wealthy Romans wore a special black toga when in mourning. This tradition was picked up by the rest of Europe (not surprisingly, as Rome invaded all of Europe up to the British Isles), where it slowly added another component. You could show off your wealth! Who could afford an expensive black dress only because somebody close died? Back in a time when most commoners just had the clothes they wore on their backs each day- much less closets with spare clothing, it became desirable for a family to take this socially prominent event to show the community that they had wealth.
Once upon a time people did not have air conditioning. They coped with the heat and humidity with lighter colors during the summer. After Labor Day temperatures usually cool down and people could go back to their normal clothes. I guess it is just a suggestion and not a strict rule, but it is fairly obvious.
This also goes back to the time when men/knights wore their protective gear. This was to prove that they came not as warriors, but as friends, and did not hide anything under their head gear.
(I have a personal observation that I have shared with friends over the years- that people who drive a car with their hat on (not baseball caps however), are bad drivers! It has given my co-riders much amusement as whenever another driver does something stupid, they are usually wearing a hat! I think it just speaks to their lack of situational awareness! Except for BB caps- which don’t obscure your peripheral vision, most other hats block these views and the mirrors. Watch for yourself and see if you notice this too.)
This is another “rule” that goes back centuries! In medieval times the feasts were legendary and very crowded and they offered the chance to eat as much as one could. Putting elbows on the table meant that another person was hindered to squeeze in at the table. We still should not put elbows on the table although we can eat as much as we would like to have. It can be rude and crowd the persons to either side. You think that this is just another archaic custom, unfit for our modern society? Well consider the hot new social meme of ‘Manspreading’.
My husband just laughed at these tortured explanations. He said that with the extra equipment he has there that I don’t, it just simply isn’t comfortable to sit with his knees together. ‘The boys need room to breath’, he told me with a smile, and modern tight jeans make it even more uncomfortable as there is much less room, so your legs need to be spread wider. So I guess we have a new social norm to consider when being polite to each other.
You have seen the pictures of women in the 16th and 19th centuries in their long and complicated dresses. It was hard to walk around in those outfits and even more difficult to sit down in them. So the gentleman gave a helping hand and women liked it. And they still like it! Courtesy can be contagious for everyone.
Marriages were for centuries a complicated negotiation process. The bride’s family negotiated an attractive dowry to convince the parents of the future husband that they did well. Part of the attractive dowry was paying for the wedding.
Things have changed a lot. Only the part about the bride’s family paying for the wedding has survived.
It is an odd custom and also goes back to the ancient times when people were worried about poisoning. By touching the glasses of their guests they tried to spill some of their wine into their guest's glass, making sure nobody was trying to kill them.
I fear that this recounting of many of these old rules of protocol may seem silly- if not downright offensive to many politically correct adherents of behavior today. But understanding how things formed historically and for what reasons, better informs how we carry on, or change our rules for today. We still follow old rules, whether they make sense today or not. But having these rules and following them all over the world, makes protocol and etiquette easy. Diplomacy is respecting your opponents rules and adapting to them, for the greater good. When you have a general rule book that everyone has and follows (Protocol), then deals can be done.